The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Funny Marriage Quotes

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

I love being married.
It's great to find that one special person who you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness -
and call it love - true love.
- Robert Fulghum.

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous